BARRACUDA SUSPENDED!

Mike Lannan has been suspended for one game for violating the teams substance abuse policy as well as a clause in his contract.

Lannan, who missed the Barracudas last game with a high ankle sprain, was reportedly undergoing physical rehabilitation at his Cedar Park home. Instead of recuperating from his injury, however, he has been in Tijuana, Mexico for the last week, specifically at the popular local bar “Zapata.” It was this deceit that led Barracuda team officials to activate the seldom used “Liar Liar Pants on Fire” clause in Lannan’s contract.

He will miss Wednesday’s game against the Dell Troubleshooters.

“The team’s official position is that we discourage drinking and drug use during the season,” a team spokesman said. “Unofficially, we let them do what they want. We’re kind of like bad parents that way. All that we just ask they they not be photographed. But Mike’s always loved the camera. And, to be fair, the camera loves him, too.”

Lannan was unavailable for comment, but he responded to the controversy through a prepared statement. “Tequila has heretofore undiscovered homeopathic properties,” Lannan said, via the statement. “It is unfortunate that the Barracudas organization is not open to new healing techniques. I also think that they are doody heads.”

Per league rules, Lannan will be docked one games pay.